Wedding registry = ideal life, not real life

7 Jul

The iconic KitchenAid stand mixer

Wedding registries aren’t for the life we actually live, but the life we wish to live. There’s something about getting married that makes us think we are going to become the next Julia Child. Take for example this Smithsonianized staple of the legendary chef’s kitchen.

Now I know Julia Child discovered the art of French cooking late in life and made an entire career out of it, but I am not in this much denial. We elected not to register for this ‘must have’ item, as I know it will be a stylish reminder of how inadequate I am as a baker.  We always have the option to purchase our own later once we get heavy into pots de creme making. But in our real life, the only thing we bake starts with a mix.

But here are a few things from our list that might be delusional.

OXO Salad Spinner

When I’ve gone to buy wedding gifts from a registry, this is the one I always laugh about. It makes sense, no one wants soggy lettuce. But to buy a device that spins the water off always seemed excessive to me–what’s wrong with good old-fashioned shaking? It’s so easy to buy the prewashed greens these days (and I’m a sucker for easy in the kitchen). But of course in my ideal life I’ll be growing my own greens in an organic garden and will need to wash and dry them in large quantities. Plus it does look fun to use, I’ll admit. Too much fun, I fear. I tend to get over zealous about new kitchen gadgets: I’ll start researching Spinner’s Anonymous in Florida just in case.

Body Glove Snorkel Set

For those of you who aren’t up to speed, we are moving to South Florida, so this isn’t a someday-when-we-take-a-honeymoon kind of gift. We could drive a few miles in any direction and arrive at the ocean. There are snorkel boats by the dozen. We could take a weekend trip to the Keys and see schools of blue tang surgeon fish, eagle rays and the like. We could get underwater cameras and document our aquatic finds on our very own snorkel blog!  That’s the great thing about ideal life, you can be that awesome. Or you can sit in the beach chairs we also registered for (which boast five positions, color me relaxed).

Oster Flip Waffle Maker

In my life before I met my fiance, this would have been the biggest delusion of them all. While the idea of strawberry waffles lightly brushed with powdered sugar sounds delicious and something I should serve at brunch with mimosas, I usually stick with fancy omelets. I used the  Belgian waffle maker in the dining hall at college, sure, but until I met my almost-husband, I hadn’t even made pancakes at home!  I love the taste of carbs drenched in maple syrup, but it’s a lot of effort for that many calories I guess. And I hate to use up all my carbs at breakfast, as I cherish eating them throughout the day. But my betrothed would eat pancakes or waffles every morning if he could (he’s a type I diabetic, so he has to plan ahead to eat them). And in our ideal life, I too will make stacks of perfectly browned waffles. I’m the one who requested we get the flip handle model (because it looks more fun to use). Plus we can always serve them with a tropical fruit salad (tasted my first lychee last week) and as I write this, Aaron is growing borajo seeds he ordered online to one day plant a tree. See, in ideal life we own a little SoFlo bungalow with a borajo tree growing outside that we gaze at while eating waffles from our lanai (just like they did on The Golden Girls, just exchange the waffles for cheesecake).

Golden Girls on the lanai. RIP Bea, Estelle, and Rue.


2 Responses to “Wedding registry = ideal life, not real life”

  1. rookiemistakesandbeginnersluck July 11, 2010 at 3:58 pm #

    So true! My ideal life registry did involve the stand mixer, but in my defense, I used it a little less than two weeks ago. It did need some dusting though…

    Other ideal life registry items: a tent for when we go camping (still hasn’t happened), a pretty glass drink dispenser from PB for all those outdoor parties we’d be throwing (used once for indoor book club meeting), and this very cool wine rack also from PB (returned because it couldn’t be installed in our kitchen; that and we’re not big drinkers).

    I do wish we’d registered for a grill though.


  1. Take a Hike! - August 14, 2010

    […] I’ve always found the idea charming and romantic.  One of our wedding registry items–which we’ve yet to use, I’m sad to admit–is a tent for when Eric and I head off into the woods for our adventures.  Lately I’ve […]

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